Reah’s Crib

Just like everyone else, I loved a guy so dearly. I believed he was the only, the right guy, the perfect guy, I wanted to marry. I loved anything about him, even he laughed crazily, even he had pimples, even he gained weight. I could say my world revolved around him, and I dared to say that the feeling was love. That was five years ago, and I will now describe the feeling I had that time an obsession.

Sometimes we just got used to the feeling of loving someone. As if, if we stop loving them our life would not be better. Even though we broke up, I still held on to the promise that we would still get married someday. So even though it was painful, I like to reminisce the days we were together. I acted like this because I didn’t want to stop loving him, I believed we were meant to be together.

However, holding this kind of thought, made me less able to love another man. I liked his new company, I cared for him, but I wasn’t able to give him the love he deserved, because I was holding on to my old love. I couldn’t love him as much as I loved the other guy.

I was sharing these to you because I just got an SMS about finding the right one:

It is not certain whether the one you have now is the one you will be with for the rest of your life…There’s even no guarantee if the one you just met is the one who will love you forever… Coz’ there’s no such things as the ideal man or woman, no such thing as the right person, or the right one. It is us who can make love to last a lifetime. So if somebody asks you, is s/he the right one? You can answer, “I’m not sure, but I intend to make him/her my only one.”

For two years, even though we already broke up, and he didn’t love me anymore, I still held to that thought that he is the right person, my only one. I intended him to be my only one, that I never entertained feelings for other guys. I let myself get hurt, because I held to that belief that he would love me again. However, while in the process of holding this strong feelings, I had ignored other’s love for me. And in fact, I wasn’t capable of loving.

But one day though, I just decided to stop thinking about him. I really did not entertain another thought about him and me. That’s enough Reah. It’s over. Accept it. The first days, was harsh. But weeks after that, I noticed I forgot details about him and me. And more weeks… I tried recalling some sweet moments we had, and I just remembered I was happy, and I like to had that feeling again, but not with him finally. This time, I was hoping I would have those sweet moments again, but with a new guy.

Loving someone is a choice, because you let yourself fall in love with that person. You think you like him. You ask his number. You befriend him. You let yourself know more about him. You let yourself get closer. And finally you fall in love. So if you want to forget your love, you just have to make a decision. Say No. Say Stop. Don’t you dare entertain those thoughts again. And over time, you will realize that you don’t love them as much as you love them before. You may care for them still, but your world doesn’t revolve around them anymore. This time, let yourself fall in love again with someone new.

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